Why can Muslim men marry up to four wives, while Muslim women can only have one husband?

All Praise be to Allah

Summary: This ruling is a commandment from Allah, and we say “We hear and we obey” as believers, as mentioned in the Quran: “It is not for a believer, man or woman, when Allah and His Messenger have decreed a matter that they should have any option in their decision. And whoever disobeys Allah and His Messenger, he has indeed strayed in a plain error.” [al-Ahzaab 33:36]. The ultimate wisdom behind this ruling belongs to Allah, although we can attempt to understand some reasoning behind it through our limited perspective.

Detailed Answer: Polygyny, the allowance for men to marry up to four wives, is one of the aspects of the Islamic marital system. It is a divinely ordained law and part of the complete Shari’ah that aims to address various social and biological needs. There are several reasons for this allowance, but it fundamentally comes down to the difference in roles, social structures, and responsibilities between men and women as understood through Islamic law:

1. Biological and Social Considerations: Women, if they were allowed to marry multiple men at the same time, would face issues regarding lineage and paternity. Determining the paternity of a child in such a setting would lead to confusion, which would impact inheritance laws and the proper lineage—a very crucial element in Islamic society. Men, on the other hand, can fulfill their role as providers and protectors without such complications arising from having multiple wives. The Shari’ah is designed to protect lineage and ensure a stable family unit, which would be compromised in the case of polyandry (one woman marrying multiple men) (IslamQA, Fatwa No. 21459).
2. Equitable Responsibility: The allowance for men to marry multiple wives comes with the strict condition of justice and equitable treatment. The Quran states, “But if you fear that you will not be just, then [marry only] one” [an-Nisa 4:3]. This means a man must provide for all his wives equally in terms of emotional, financial, and physical needs. Failing in these obligations means he should not pursue multiple marriages. The institution of polygyny in Islam is not about fulfilling desires but about addressing broader social and communal needs.
3. Different Social Dynamics: The rules for men and women in marriage are reflective of the differing roles they have in the family and society. For instance, men are made qawwaamoon (maintainers) over women, meaning they have the responsibility of financial maintenance, security, and providing for the family. This role makes it practical for a man, under specific conditions, to marry more than one wife, especially in situations where this can be beneficial for society—such as supporting widows or those in need. Conversely, the responsibilities placed upon a woman, particularly related to childbirth, nursing, and raising children, make it impractical for her to have multiple husbands. Such a structure would lead to significant social and familial disorder, affecting the mental and emotional stability of both the mother and the children involved (Yaqeen Institute).

Submission to Allah’s Wisdom: Ultimately, these commands are based on divine wisdom. The Quran tells us that Allah, being All-Wise and All-Knowing, ordains these laws in the best interests of mankind. Our understanding is limited, but our duty is to obey the commandments while striving to understand their wisdom. Ibn al-Qayyim explained that Allah’s rulings are rooted in wisdom, mercy, and justice, aiming to secure the best interests of humanity in both this life and the hereafter.

And Allah Knows Best