Mourning on the 3rd, 10th, 40th Day or Annual Anniversaries
Authenticity, Cultural Influence, and the Sunnah Approach
Islam does not prescribe mourning or commemorating the deceased on specific days such as the 3rd, 10th, 40th, or yearly anniversaries. Mourning is limited to three days, except for a widow who mourns for four months and ten days. Formalizing fixed days of remembrance is not from the Sunnah and is considered bidʿah (innovation).
| Mourning Anniversaries — Critical Overview | |
|---|---|
| Practice | Mourning gatherings on the 3rd, 10th, 40th day, or anniversaries after someone’s death. |
| Islamic ruling | No basis in Qur’an or Sunnah. Considered bidʿah when practiced as a ritual. |
| When it started | Not known among the Prophet ﷺ, the Companions, or the early Muslims. Introduced later through cultural customs. |
| Where it spread | Common in South Asia, Central Asia, parts of the Middle East, and communities influenced by local traditions. |
| Practices associated with it |
|
| Similarities in other religions (Muslims likely copied from) |
These parallels show cultural borrowing rather than authentic Islamic worship. |
Prophetic Guidance
The Prophet ﷺ allowed mourning for up to three days, except in the case of a widow, who observes mourning for four months and ten days.
He said:
“It is not permissible for a woman who believes in Allah and the Last Day to mourn for anyone who dies more than three days, except for her husband; she should mourn for four months and ten days.” Sahih al-Bukhari 1280; Sahih Muslim 1486
No hadith prescribes mourning on the 3rd, 10th, 40th day, or on anniversaries. The Companions did not practice such customs.
Scholarly Consensus
– Mourning beyond three days (other than for widows) is not allowed.
– Fixing specific days for remembrance is a bidʿah with no basis in the Sunnah.
– Scholars like Ibn Taymiyyah and Ibn al-Qayyim clarified that these practices are cultural imports, not Islamic teachings.
The Wisdom Behind the Ruling
- Mercy: Islam allows natural grief but limits it to avoid prolonged harm to the living.
- Authenticity: Keeps worship and remembrance tied to evidence, not cultural rituals.
- Unity: Prevents Muslims from imitating non-Islamic customs in mourning.
- Focus: Shifts attention toward dua, charity, and good deeds on behalf of the deceased.
Common Misconceptions
1) “The 40th day is when the soul’s status is decided.”
No basis in Qur’an or Sunnah; purely cultural.
2) “Gathering for Qur’an recitation on specific days is Sunnah.”
There is no authentic evidence. Qur’an can be recited anytime, without assigning fixed days.
3) “Annual death anniversaries honor the deceased.”
This imitates non-Muslim rituals. True honor is in dua, sadaqah, and continuous good deeds.
Contemporary Reflections
Cultural practices often blur into religious rituals. Islam teaches balance: express grief, pray, and support the family, but avoid formalizing innovations. True benefit to the deceased lies in sadaqah jariyah (ongoing charity), prayers, and righteous offspring making dua.
Conclusion
Commemorating the deceased on the 3rd, 10th, 40th day or anniversaries is not from Islam. The Sunnah limits mourning, encourages patience, dua, and ongoing charity. Islam offers timeless guidance: honor the deceased through righteous deeds, not cultural innovations.
References
Primary Sources
Hadith
- Sahih al-Bukhari 1280: Mourning beyond three days is forbidden except for widows.
- Sahih Muslim 1486: Widow’s mourning period of four months and ten days.
- Sahih Muslim 867: Every innovation is misguidance.
Secondary Sources
- Ibn Taymiyyah, Majmūʿ al-Fatāwā: On mourning practices outside Sunnah.
- Ibn al-Qayyim, Zād al-Maʿād: Clarifying prescribed mourning periods.
- Al-Shatibi, al-Iʿtiṣām: On innovations in worship and culture.